My Career Sabbatical

TL;DR: Quality self-reflection time is more important than climbing the corporate ladder.

    Employment status is still very much a success indicator to many Americans, and to my surprise I shared in that belief. I'm giving myself space on a daily... no, minute by minute... basis to try to reduce this fallacy from my personal principles, but it has been a challenge. So many influences in my life contributed to the unyielding belief that employment is required for "success": from growing up in a rural farm-town where half of my school was absent during planting and picking season to being raised by a working-class family that drove the extra few miles for the cheaper gas. Looking back, it is easy to see how I had a complete breakdown after my first missed pay-period after I quit my job in December.

   Ask me to describe my career field (Industrial Safety) and I'll likely just say "exciting". I know I am definitely demented - exciting in this field means your workplace is likely fast-paced, unpredictable, and there is a strong possibility of literal injury. A normal work day for me tended to include drinking an ungodly amount of caffeine before noon, not for the reason of keeping my eyes open, but instead to pump up my intensity level to match that in which my job threw at me. My day-to-day typically started with a pleading conversation with a leader on budget approval for a safety guard on a machine to prevent a gruesome injury (that likely already injured someone). It was a good day if I only had to have one heated conversation with a hot-headed worker on the importance of safety glasses while metal grinding and how many of his colleagues had been to the clinic just this week to have slivers removed from the eye. Throw in the weekly bandaging up of a bloody cut on an extremity or investigating someone who dumped waste oil off the loading dock and you have a typical week of a safety professional. I did not mention dealing with a disconnected and apathetic CEO who insisted on personally handling problems, even at the line worker level, as well as my personal tendency to throw every ounce of effort into the quality of my work and my follow-through for each individual person. Just typing this out I see - of COURSE i was a walking zombie at the end of each day and slept my weekends away.

    I thrive in the "exciting" environment from a career perspective. I was on my game, I was "girl-bossing" and moving up the ranks with each of my employers. "Daddy Elon money" bought me a fancy car and paid off my school debt...but this was all at the price of my mental and physical health. It was worth it for a time, but when both your partner and your best friend say "you've been a different person since working there" completely unprovoked and at different times, you need to reflect on your life. Throw in 3 emergency surgeries in a 4 month timeframe on different organs, all of which the ER doctors say were exacerbated by stress... yeah, something had to change. Finally prioritizing my mental and physical health, I left my beloved "exciting" job with a certain EV manufacturer in 2023 for a remote role. Same title, same pay, but no in-person. Less stressful, for sure! Nope. I quickly realized that my work ethic and personality takes safety so seriously that even with a kitten (or two) on my lap, in my home office, I am still almost as stressed and high-strung as I was before. I realized this was definitely a "me" problem at its core, exacerbated by a high-stress work environment. So in December 2024 I decided to quit, with no job lined up, to force myself into self-reflection and healing.

    I scheduled a psychological assessment in February 2025 because I had a suspicion I have always had ADHD and Social Anxiety. Since I was young I have struggled with short-term memory, been a fast talker / thinker, and have had issues with maintaining eye-contact and initiating conversation. I was positive I would walk out of the assessment with a specific diagnosis and treatment plan, which I had already researched thoroughly and was on board for. What I didn't expect was to have all of my symptoms confirmed but the source was not ADHD or Social Anxiety. I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder that was causing chronic stress, social anxiety and ADHD-like symptoms. While not directly caused by work-stress, these disorders are affected by it resulting in the symptoms I was/am experiencing. A lot to unpack here, but mostly what I gained from this diagnosis is confirmation that I am making the right choice in taking time for self-reflection and healing me, away from work.

    Many people are never given the opportunity like this at no fault of their own, so I do not take my time away from work for granted. I am extremely privileged to have this option and still continue living my normal lifestyle, not to mention this insane cross-country move we're currently on! I explicitly saved money for a "rainy day" to support myself for a set time period, and the rainy day is here. I'm hoping this time away will result in a clearer head to shepherd in ideas on the next part of my career and life. My mental and physical health are first and foremost, then my personal relationships (which honestly are all co-mingled), and finally my career. What do I want to do? How can I use my passion and skills to their fullest extent but not at the expense of my new healthy personal life? A lot to think about, but for now I'm going to make a cup of coffee and breathe in the cool mountain air....

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. 

-Corinne

(The view from my reading spot at our Tennessee Air BnB 😍)